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Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a relationship expert at perfectmatch. The whole feeling has infected society in a way that is shocking. In truth, the Oldsmobile is new, it's pretty, and it works. Why wouldn't I be satisfied with it? Rather, marriage was a practical matter that ensured social and financial security and provided for offspring. It's only over the last century that couples have expected marriage to bring them happiness. We're learning as we go. David Rice of Alpharetta, Ga. Married for five years to Cynthia, he points to his parents' long marriage and the role model of World War II couples.

Prerequisites have changed. He admits that his romantic journey didn't go as planned. I found somebody I could build something with, but regardless of the attraction, it wasn't puppy love. I actually treated it like a business decision, as cold or callous as that might sound. I didn't feel I had time to make a couple of mistakes.

I felt I had to hit it out of the park. Experts and married couples both agree: It's a fantasy to think you'll achieve perfection in a relationship. Chemistry, while important, is not all-important, and the "soul mate" concept sets the bar unrealistically high. Zentman, PhD, director of the postgraduate program in marriage and couple therapy at Adelphi University. Belinda Rachman, an attorney in Carlsbad, Calif.


I had a written 'man plan. When I look at the utter mess made by couples who have based a marriage on being in love with no thought to basic compatibility, I know I made the right choice. Terri, an artist based in Roswell, Ga. Jaguar XK straight-6!

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The creator was obsessive in his quest to create a car to fit his vision of the ideal sports racing Jaguar, and so this car even includes both a folding convertible top and stowable tonneau cover. Later, I try putting it into fifth, at 1, rpm, uphill, and floor the throttle.

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Away it goes, without sputtering or complaining: amazing. It has been maintained in perfect working order, having done about five hundred miles in the last year. It is being regretfully offered for sale purely to make room for something else.

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The history file includes copies of its magazine mentions and a host of other pertinent information about the car. On the one hand I really like the exclusivity and craftmanship. Is it a classic?

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My only complaint is the central gauge placement. The tach should be right in front of the driver. Good point on the first sentence. On the 2nd as stated to Mr Lange its the Shelby Cobra posterior that is my only complaint..

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Mr Lange and I may of resolved …. Does Zagato do anything like this today? For me it was.


But I do know a lot of women who settled because they were tired of dating. So settling may not be the grim, bland existence I used to think it was. Right, definitely. The bar is lower. Friends who married for love have told me that the hardest part of their marriages has been wondering what happened to the people they and their spouses used to be. Because the we is redefined so drastically from the we they were before marriage and kids and mortgages and all that emotional water under the bridge.

They go into it, I think, with much more realistic expectations. But I do think arranged marriages can work.

Marriages in which people settle can work, and marriages in which you have true love can work or not. All of them can work or not. How did that change? I knew it was going to be hard to do this alone. I would have considered dating guys I never gave a chance. I was looking for a spark when I should have been looking for a solid life partner. And some of those guys would have been really excellent life partners.

Maybe it would have been nice to wake up with one of those guys every day and raise a family together. I just think they have more life experience.